Fighting Futility

IMG_0011It’s so easy for me to get stuck in the daily or weekly routine. Don’t get me wrong, I love routine and know the boys need it, and I love libraries on a Monday as much as the next exasperated mom. Its just that sometimes I lose sight of how incredible it is that i get to “do life” with a family. I forget how cool it is that I have a husband and a home and two little breathing, ever-learning boys at my ankles all day. I am scared that I will get to the end of each stage and wish I had enjoyed it and not just endured it.  I really do want to think like the old school Puritan who said, “Let me consider every duty a spiritual privilege, ” yet every Monday, I struggle to see the gift that laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and a trip to the library to “play” the Clifford reading game with Ty who won’t keep the earphones on his ears to hear the instructions. Every morning I really do need the Lord to renew my mind from the impressions of my sin and worldly patterns; I need to have Him remind me that He has no greater joy than to help, train, pray, and more each day see us, His children, walking in His truth. If the God of the universe does not tire of doing the same things for me every moment, even when I don’t notice or appreciate it, then I can love the boys this way! I just know how much help I need!

Former Futility, Newfound Joy

While picking up Thomas and friends scattered all over the floor,

A thought occurred to me that had never occurred before.

While I normally consider this nightly routine a task of futility,

You reminded me this should be a service of joyful humility.

My little conductors won’t make tracks and tunnels of my arms forever

So playing trains for the two-hundreth time should be my glad endeavor.

They’re messy, they’re needy, they’re clingy; they wake up throughout the night;

But our boys also bring us such laughter and wonder, such unspeakable delight.

I don’t want to whine and grumble as I scrape goldfish off of the floor;

Nourishing these tiny bellies can be a privilege not a mindless chore.

They’re getting so big so fast, it seems like we fly through each stage.

But I don’t want to miss a moment, they’re changing so much at each age!

They won’t always want me to wash and kiss every silly little ouch,

And they will get too self-conscious to cuddle with us on the couch.

A day will come when they won’t want toastie at one in the morning

Or break into crazy freestyle dancing with no apparent warning.

Before I know it you won’t be in the bathroom splashing around in the sink

And I won’t have you knee-high perspective always making me think.

For all the spankings, accidents, and meltdowns at the grocery store

There are sweet heavenly moments dancing as a family on the living room floor.

I treasure my days with you, staying at home and watching you grow

Ty and Eli, your dadda and I love you more than you will ever know!

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