Eli and I had a little mother/son adventure this weekend, while G and Ty stayed home to have their first annual “Man Weekend.” Crazy E and I headed down to Orlando for my Grandpa Jack’s 80th birthday weekend, leaving the other men to rule the roost. Eli did incredible on the plane on the flight there; he loved every second of it. When we were waiting on someone to pick us up, he sat on a bench with his little “luggage” (aka his tin lunch box full of trains and markers), and looked so grown up. He really thought he was a big deal… so hysterical. We had a typical extended family weekend, full of swimming, eating, catching up, etc.. I was reminded how hard it is for a true introvert to survive in our extended family, but was also thankful for the Lord’s sustaining grace and for the opportunity to catch up with family I haven’t seen in years. In fact, my own aunt from NJ introduced herself to me… hysterical.
Eli was the only baby there, but he quickly found three fast friends in some yard art of my Grandpa and Grandmother. He fell in love with these plastic dragonfly and butterfly things that you stick in planters. They lit up and changed colors, and Eli called them “his woooms” all weekend. He carried all three around with him for three days straight. Never seen my boy so smitten. Hysterical. Who knew yard art could make a crazy boy so awed and quiet? So if you see yard art in our grass, please don’t judge. Just know that my son has a kindred spirit and deep love for those dragonflies.
I would be remiss if I did not tell you that we had an awesome flight home. Awesome. Woke up way too early (after not sleeping because I was sharing the bed with wiggly worm Eli who kept poking my eye lids and saying, “Momma, Mommy, mom. Momma, mommy, mom” in his most persistent whiny voice trying to wake me up. Headed to airport, all is well. As soon as we sit on the plane, happy Eli turns into inconsolable boy. Think screaming and flailing (he was just so exhausted from being off schedule for 3 days, I would have done the same if it was culturally acceptable!). I held him (think human straight jacket) for 40 minutes until he finally collapsed in my arms, exhausted and feel asleep. I say all that to say, I loved it. It is so weird, but this weekend reminded me how much my soul has grown accustomed to being a stay-at-home-wife and mom. While the plane was hot during the screamfest and only grew hotter as more eyes seemed to pierce through me from all over the plane, I really felt at home with everything. I was shocked as we flew home how much the Lord has caused me to grow to love my role, my portion right now.
I am a go-getter and used to be/ am intense, so the transition to motherhood was a tough one for me. It was hard to be limited to being home most of the time, to slow down my routine to include 30 minutes of getting the boys dressed, cleaning the play room 4 times a day, coloring for an hour. Everywhere else, everyone else’s freedom seemed to be such greener pastures to me. I wrestled (still do some days) to know that this was freedom for me, the Lord’s will and His best. But this trip away showed me how much life I find and receive life within the walls of our house and the limitations of the fence around our yard. I really do love these green pastures. I love our pace, the chair where I sit to spend time with the Lord, just spending Saturdays at home with G, pushing the boys on the swings for what feels like an eternity (sweating profusely after I finally got the chance to shower!).
The Lord has put Psalm 66 on my heart lately. I love that “He keeps/ puts my soul in life.” He holds us where life will be found, even when we don’t think it is the most life-giving, the most freedom. He knows us so well. He is so committed to us! I love it! I am so thankful that He is, has been, and will continue to keep my soul in life, making me to lie down in the greenest pastures for my soul (no matter what it may seem or feel like!).