Humans have an incredible gift of engineering complex systems of walls, turrets and defenses. From the Great Wall of China to beautiful  labyrinth gardens to the high towers of Medieval Castles, humans have shown great ingenuity and creativity in their ability to construct means of protection. What we do physically, we also do spiritually, much to our own disadvantage.

From early ages, many of us, often subconsciously and inadvertently construct complex systems of defense to protect us from the pain and disappointment of relationships. Invisible miles of walls and turrets surround and protect our deepest selves, our fears, our hopes, our gifts and places of vulnerability. Oftentimes, these systems of defense are useful for a season, as they literally help us survive. Yet, there comes a time when the systems that once saved us actually begin to harm and hinder healthy relationships.

To be sure, relationships with other human beings…