For the past few weeks, my son has fallen asleep listening to the modern hymn, “He Will Hold Me Fast” while I literally hold him fast. My ten-year-old son has been struggling deeply with anxiety. In our quest to come alongside him and walk him through this season, I have been given a variety of tools. It’s not enough to simply pray for him and offer him breathing or other somatic exercises. It works best if I am alongside him practicing, modeling, and pacing right there with him. In the world of psychology, this is known as co-regulation. In stressful situations, an individual learns to manage sensory input and big waves of emotion by mirroring the breathing, presence, and peace of another. 

As my son’s racing heartbeat slows to match my heart’s more measured cadence, I think of how time spent in God’s presence does the same for me. As I gently run my fingers through my son’s hair, I realize that the God of the universe who counts the hairs on my head, invites me to receive a similar comfort from him. As I continue to learn how to help my son co-regulate, I am seeing how God offers his children an invitation to divine co-regulation.

Co-Regulation

We expect the need for co-regulation in infants and toddlers. Scientists and researchers have learned so much about the neurological networks that are created during those early years. We don’t expect a two-year-old to be able to properly manage the stress of a scary thunderstorm in the middle of the night. Rather, we invite them into our rooms to snuggle in our beds for comfort and security until the thunder passes. Yet, the more we learn about the human brain, the more people are realizing that the need for co-regulation extends far beyond those early years of human development. With the discovery of neuroplasticity, we are learning that the human brain can be re-wired even into early adulthood.  It turns out that healthy adults need co-regulation as well.

As believers, we ought not be surprised as scientific and psychological studies begin to tell us a story which has already been told us by the Scriptures.  In The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard captures this sentiment poignantly, “Jesus is Lord’ can mean little in practice for anyone who has to hesitate before saying, ‘Jesus is smart.’ He is not just nice, he is brilliant. He is the smartest man who ever lived…He always has the best information on everything and certainly also on the the things that matter most in human life.”

The Scriptures tell us that we are made body, mind, and soul, and that each strongly affects the other (Ps. 32: 1-5). God addresses not only the spiritual needs of his people, but also the physical needs. He offers manna to a hungry, wandering people; later, Jesus multiplies food for a crowd growing hungry during a long sermon (Deut. 8:  2-10; Mt. 6: 1-15). He repeatedly tells his people that he sees and will meet their needs for security and strength (Ps. 62: 5-12; Josh. 1: 8-9). God gives the majority of commands in Scripture to communities, assuming that we are living together in vital communion. 

All that to say, if we, a species are wired for co-regulation with one another, we should expect that God has an invitation to us to co-regulate with him. 

An Invitation to Divine Co-Regulation

In Psalm 131, David compares his experience with God to a weaned child resting against the chest of his mother. One imagines a toddler resting against the chest of his mother, the two breathing in sync, chests rising and falling together. He is no longer anxious or overly ambitious; rather, he is contented in the presence of his God. 

We see a similar invitation to divine co-regulation in Psalm 91, where the psalmist writes that God will “cover you with his pinions” and offer refuge “under his wings.” Here, we see an analogy to co-regulation even in the animal world — even baby birds seek protection and security through the presence of another. 

In Colossians 3, the Apostle Paul reminds us that our lives are hidden with Christ in God. The logic goes, if Christ is your life and Christ is on high, then set your heart and pace by things above. If the ascended Christ is in the throne room, sitting and at peace as he intercedes for his people,  we can have peace even amidst the stress and brokenness of this life (Col. 3: 1-4; 15). The writer of Hebrews offers a similar invitation to approach the throne room with confidence and boldness to receive help in time of need (Heb. 4: 14-16). 

If Jesus sits on the throne living to intercede for his people, if our God is “the unwasting, unhasting” God we sing about in “Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise,” if the Father and the Son dwell in peace, all will be well. We are invited to rest in his presence, even to fall asleep secure at the foot of his throne.