I have a confession to make: I have always read the story of the rich, young ruler with a pointing finger and a prideful heart.

You likely have heard the story which is recorded in the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, and Luke). Jesus was getting ready to go on a journey and a rich, young man ran up to him, fell on his knees, and asked him a loaded question: “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Mark 10: 17; Luke 18: 18).

First of all, let’s stop and note that Jesus made time for him while he was getting ready to rush out the door for a journey. I don’t know about your demeanor when you are heading out of town, but I am usually not a calm, welcoming presence as I load the car for a roadtrip or check off the to-do list before heading to the airport.

At first Jesus answers the question as we would expect: keep the commandments. This is a litmus test to see the young man’s approach to God (transactional versus relational). The young man essentially responds that he has checked those boxes since he was a young fella, assuming that means that he is now to be considered in good standing with the Good Teacher.

Here comes the kicker, the part of the story that I have mostly missed in all my years of hearing and reading it. Mark gives us a significant angle that Matthew and Luke do not, as he writes, “And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me” (Mark 10: 21).

Jesus, looking at him with both physical and spiritual eyes, loved him. He loved him right there in the midst of his disordered affections and his self-righteous, transactional way of approaching him. Jesus looked, loved, and poked at the idols that were keeping him from receiving the real treasure of right relationship with God.

Exposed and realizing that eternal life would require selling all entitlements to cling to Christ, the rich, young ruler walked away sad. It seems this was not the answer he was expecting. He came wanting Jesus’s rubber stamp of approval and left “disheartened” and “sorrowful” (Mark 10: 22).

This is where I have long judged the rich, young ruler. Who would walk away from Jesus like that, refusing to sell all to buy the field in which the great treasure was hidden? (Matt. 13: 44).

A few weeks ago, I read this story with a group of women and heard it for what felt like the first time. I felt Jesus’s love and longing for him right in the midst of his idolatry. I saw a man struggling as he was exposed by the idols that held him tightly. I saw a man wrestling with the cost of surrender. And, more than any of that, I saw a Jesus who was affected for and patient with a wayward, self-righteous soul.

We aren’t privy to the rest of the story, but, oh, how I pray there was, indeed, a rest of the story. I wonder if weeks, months, or even years later, the rich, young ruler realized the emptiness of his moralism and materialism. I wonder if he remembered the compassionate, directness of Jesus in reply to his question. I wonder if Jesus’s invitation to him was like a rock in his shoe– one that wouldn’t let him rest until he finally accepted it by laying down his rights and idols to be in right relationship with the living God.

Either way, I am thankful for the window into God’s heart of patience for his wayward creatures so prone to trading idols for the living God (Rom. 1: 21–22).