Descartes famously coined the phrase, “I think, therefore I am” as the first principle of his philosophy. If the sentiments of our present culture were to be formulated into a philosophy, I believe, “I post, therefore I am” might be our first principle. While we jokingly ask, “If it wasn’t posted, did it really happen?,” I think that question lays us bare. With social media, private worlds are laid out for public viewing. The need to post publicly what we are thinking or experiencing privately can become a hindrance to being present (being who we are where we are with whom we are).

As a writer, I wrestle deeply with the tension between private fullness and public presence (yes, I recognize the irony of me writing these private thoughts out for public viewing… welcome to the tension in which I live). I feel this tension acutely when I find myself in a launch season. I am two weeks into promotion for my second book, and my soul is depleted. So much public presence drains my private fullness to dangerously low levels.

Quiet Fullness & Public Presence

Jesus managed the same tensions. Long before social media, he felt social pressure. As I’ve come to expect, he doesn’t give us a formula or a truncated either/or between quiet fullness and public presence. He invites us into daily dependence and discernment.

When speaking to the Pharisees who were the influencers before iphones, Jesus warned them of the dangers of mere externality. He told them, using an illustration of ritual cup washing, that they should be far more concerned about the inside of the cup (their private worlds; the hidden person of the heart) than about obsessively cleaning the outside of the cup (their public persona and presence; their tendency towards image-management). He boldly called them out, saying the following (publicly, I might add):

“They do all their deeds to be seen by others. They make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others” (Matthew 23: 5–7).

While we don’t hang phylacteries on our foreheads, we sure do post all the pictures to give off the aesthetic for which we are aiming. We don’t worry about long fringes to grab attention, but we use filters, staging our homes and hearts to get the desired attention and affection we crave. Jesus’s balancing words to the externally-driven Pharisees still speaks to us. He pressed them into internality and privacy, urging them to learn to pray and experience fullness in the secret presence of the Father (Matthew 6: 5–6).

Yet, at the same time, Jesus also urged his people to be good leaven, those whose private fullness spilled out into the public sphere. He told parables that warned his disciples to not hide or bury talents (or minas) entrusted to us by the Good Master (Matthew 25: 14–30; Luke 19: 11–27). He used illustrations about lamps being lit, not to be hidden in a cellar or under a basket, but to be seen far and wide as pointers to the One who is the true source of light and all things (Luke 11: 33; Matthew 5: 14–16).

It seems that Jesus expected his followers to experience the fullness of time spent with his Father so that it might be shed abroad to the watching world, just as it was in his time walking the tightrope between private fullness and public presence.

Post from Fullness, Not for It

If you are anything like me, you begin well. You post and write from a sense of pulsing fullness that comes from time spent in prayer, in study of the Scripture, or in experiences of God’s provision and protection. Like the apostles in the days of the early church, we just cannot help but speak publicly what we have seen and heard privately (Acts 4: 19–20). But something insidiously happens along the way, and we begin to post looking for fullness rather than from it. We expect public life to feed private presence. When we do so, we are slipping into that danger zone in which the Pharisees dwelled. 1`

Today at church, I smiled as I watched a little one year old bury his little face into his momma’s shoulder. By nature, this little guy is more of an initial observer who takes time to warm up to attention and affection. In a moment of shyness and overwhelm, he took a moment to hide safely in the secure attachment of his mother. At first, it may not seem like something worth noting, as it happens dozens of times a day. However, I teared up a little watching him, as I realized that is exactly what my soul needs: little breaks of private reconnection to God to fuel and foster public connection.

To love people more we need to need them less. We need to remember that there is One whom we were created to crave. When we are craving likes or shares, we need to be pressed back to the secret place with our Savior. We need to linger longer in the approval he purchased for us at great price through his shed blood.

Pause Before You Post

At the risk of sounding super spiritual, I find it so helpful to stop and pray through something as small as posting. I have learned to ask myself hard questions:

• What am I hoping to get from this post?
• What is the ultimate goal?
• Who will this benefit?
• Does this point others to the Savior and His words or me and my words?
• Is fear (of falling behind or becoming irrelevant or not selling books) or faith compelling me to post?
• Have I shared these things with people in my actual life before sharing it on my virtual one?

Additionally, I force myself to write poems and to take pictures that I will never post. These are places of privacy for me and the Lord. Sweet reminders that I write and live for an audience of One who is worthy and who is more than enough.

I tell our boys all the time that I pray that we would be the kind of people of whom it could be said: “There is so much more to them than meets the eye.” This kind of private fullness does not happen incidentally; it requires an uncommon intimacy with the Father and an uncommon intentionality. But reserves of private fullness can’t stay private; by nature, that which is filled at an unending source will and must spill over into the lives of others. Private fullness leads to public presence which forces us back into private fullness until the day when we will forever be in the presence of our God!