Last night at bedtime, I heard heaving sobs from my youngest son’s bedroom. Suddenly, my evening plans took a detour–– one that I am so glad I took.

I love the way God has wired our youngest son who has big feelings and a very busy mind. He is still leaning to understand and love the way he is wrapped up my his Maker. He has taught us so much about emotional health, as he has lapped both of his parents.

Often, our littlest guy knows what he is feeling and why he is feeling it: usually, the issue is getting him free enough form shame to name it aloud and trust us to help him process it. But, last night, I sat and rubbed his back while he wrestled with feelings with no clear source. He wanted to know why he felt the way he did. 

We ended up having a deep conversation around generalized feelings, seeking to normalize somatic realities that sometimes seem to make no sense. 

He gets his big feelings and his busy mind honest. I spend so much time thinking about things that I don’t even realize I’m processing; I’m often surprised by my mental overload and the compounding pressure of all that happens under my skull and in my soul on a normal day. 

By nature, I like my youngest fella, want to dissect and understand my feelings so I feel like I have control. This makes my feelings something to be studied and conquered. That’s ultimately what he wanted last night: to dissect his feelings so he could feel in control and thus comfortable once again. However, we are both ever-so-slowly learning to let our feelings be companions and portholes into longings meant to lead us to the Triune God. 

A gentle approach to big feelings doesn’t mean that our emotions rule the day. Emotions are guides, not gods. The God who knit us together body, mind, and soul made us capable of both feeling and reasoning. At the center of the Scriptures we find the book of Psalms, a verifiable tour through the whole messy spectrum of human emotions being brought into the presence of God.

As an efficiency-minded, productivity-driven person, I’ve long seen emotions as unwanted intruders or interruptions. God is slowly teaching me to greet them guests.

Let Your Emotions See the Light

Let your emotions see the light.
Bring them out gently into the world; 
Set them in your favorite setting;
Let them feel the fresh air and hear the Word of God. 

Don’t give them the reigns, but let them lead you to the One who reigns over human experience. 

If they stubbornly refuse to bow to truth, invite them to join you on your day. As you make your way together, speak gently remind them of Him who was full of both grace and truth. 

Ask questions of your uncomfortable companions: Where did you come from? What are you trying to teach me? When have I met you before? 

Sister your sorrow with gratitude; learn to act as arbiter between two things that don’t love to naturally join. 

As you gently lead them along and welcome them, emotions unmask a bit, revealing the deeper burden they carry— the longing they seek to deliver.

You might grow tired of their company and wish them to runaway. Resist such inhospitable tendencies. Tuck them in at night, blanketing them with God’s truth. If they remain a guest in the morning, greet them with gentleness and truth once again. 

They won’t stay forever. For there is only One who never changes. He isn’t scared of your unwelcome guests. He has purposes for them. 

He is good. He does good. He works good. 

There is a day coming when we won’t need to spend unexpected hours untangling complex emotions. All our longings will be met. We will see Christ fully and see ourselves rightly. Until then, I pray that you would be as gentle with your big feelings and busy mind as a mother seeks to be to her son.