All instruction manuals find their way to a drawer in our home. I find this as evidence of being half-wise. We are wise enough to know that we may need them, so we don’t throw them away; however, we are not wise enough to thoroughly read them upon receipt. They gather dust in their drawer until, in desperation, they are retrieved when needed.

Sadly, I treat the Scriptures regarding suffering in a similar fashion. I may read them at a cursory level, but I don’t scour them as if my life depending upon them until I’m in the throes of a trial. In those moments when fiery trials come upon me for my testing, I cling to those portions of Scripture like a drowning person to a life preserver. It’s been a rough few weeks on multiple fronts for our family. The specifics of the circumstances don’t matter here. I am chiefly concerned with the substantive Scriptures instructing the saints to suffer well. They have held me, so I want to hold them out to you — though I realize you may put them in the drawer to gather dust until fires start to singe you.

Suffer Honestly

I’ve taught Job 23 multiple times, but last Sabbath day, Job taught me. My soul stood thanks to hours spent in these ancient words graciously gathered into the Word of God. His arms are tired from carrying heavy grief, yet he arms himself to come before God (Job 23: 1). If he could only find God who seems elusive considering his egregious circumstances, he knows that God would graciously hear his case (Job 23: 2–3). I love his confidence: “Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; he would pay attention to me” (Job 23: 6). Some translations say, “No, he would put his strength within me,” which is astounding. How does the Sovereign God respond to his suffering children who cry out to him and even against him in their pain? He doesn’t smite them or shame them, he strengthens them.

There was so much Job didn’t know. He didn’t know where to find God, though he searched earnestly:
“Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him” (Job 23:8-9). When suffering comes, it brings scores of uncertainty with it. We don’t know when or why or how or how long. Job addressed the things he didn’t know, but he landed back (even if for a brief moment) on what he did know: “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10). We don’t know, but God knows– which provides a strong certainty amid the sea of suffering’s uncertainties.

In his epistles, Peter uses the same imagery of trials and suffering as refining fires, burning off dross and approving what is precious. Believers will leave trials both approved and improved (1 Peter 1:6–9; 4:12–19). God never wastes suffering even though suffering feels like a wasteland. But we are invited, like Job, to be honest about where it feels we are wasting away. I love how C.S. Lewis instructs his friend regarding prayer: “We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us.” Laying even the lies hiding in our lament before him bleaches them in the light of Glory.

Serve While You Suffer

I am a doer. I love a check list. But suffering has a way of making life feel frozen. Any energy we have seems to have been hijacked in service of the suffering. This makes sense, as suffering triggers our bodies to live in survival mode. We feel unsafe, so we reflexively put all our energies toward self-preservation and self-protection. Interestingly enough, Peter’s instructions to the suffering saints in exile teach us to do the very opposite. 1 Peter 4 is bookended with suffering: it begins with an exhortation for the saints to arm themselves with right thinking regarding suffering and ends by giving them specific instructions and encouragement: “Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good” (1 Peter 4:19). Throughout the chapter, Peter reminds the saints that they have a faithful, just, impartial Judge who oversees all of their lives (1 Peter 4:5; 17). When suffering hits, we long for a judge, don’t we? We need to know that a just Judge is in control because suffering makes life seem so out-of-control.

Peter gently pushes the suffering believers to entrust to God who is in control what isn’t in their control. But he also encourages them to control what they can control: “Be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly…Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:7-8; 10–11).

When I’m suffering, I tend to do the exact opposite: I desperately try to micro-manage the suffering which is out of my control and ignore the responsibilities which are within my control. I spend my time and energy begging to understand things that are not within my purview all the way shirking the good works which are within my control. The last thing I want to do in my flesh when I’m suffering is host other people or serve other people. I want to curl up into a ball and cry in self-pity. Peter’s gentle press to leave to God what I cannot control and focus on what I can control gave me great purpose within my suffocating pain last week. Instead of asking “Why is this happening?,” I taught myself to ask “Who can I serve?”

Let Suffering Soften You

A few weeks ago a wise mentor shared a morsel that has buttressed my soul in suffering: “Suffering can make us more cynical or more vulnerable.” Said another way, suffering can harden or soften our hearts, and our posture towards suffering determines the outcome. Choosing the path of vulnerability and softness means that we lay down our plans for self-protection and betray the bitterness which will betray our souls over time. We let ourselves feel the full spectrum of the human experience, knowing that, for the believer, our experiences of pain on earth are the closest we will ever be to hell. We learn to let the body of Christ love us as they help to bind up the wounds too big for the world’s pathetic prescription of self-care.

I want to end these brief, biblical instructions for suffering well where Peter ended his: “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen (1 Peter 4:10–11).

We know clearly what Job desperately desired. By faith, Job knew that God would put strength in the suffering– he looked ahead to the Promised Messiah. By faith, we look back to the Savior who suffered on the tree. That same Savior will return and will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish his suffering saints. Yet a little while longer, friends. He will be worth it.