The longer I walk with God, the more I find Him to be an infinitely patient Captain.   Likewise, the longer I live in my own skin, the more I realize I am a worried spastic sailor aboard His kingdom ship.

Every change of wind feels like a hurricane to me; every chunk of floating brings Titanic fears to my heart and mind. I tend to worry about capacity aboard ship, nervously doing head counts.

Meanwhile, the calm captain steers His ship with intentionality but without anxiety or fear.

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Spazzes, like miseries, love company. Thankfully, God saw it fit to capture in the Word a few other spastic sailors who somehow found themselves on Christ’s literal vessel. They, too, had a tendency to forget the aptitude of their Captain.

Unlike this landlubber, these were men who knew the sea, most of whom knew boats better than land. Yet the storm recorded in Mark 5 shook even them.

I am certain the disciples held out as long as possible before waking their sleeping Captain; however, the churning winds and waves churned the fears in their hearts until they shook him awake, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”

First Christ rebuked the winds and waves, then He rebuked the spastic sailors who let the rising storm eclipse their knowledge of their Captain. Their lack of faith posed more of a problem to the Captain than the gathering storm.

It doesn’t even take a storm or harsh conditions to bring out my spastic, fearful sailor-self. Even in places of abundance, I find myself questioning my Captain. The harvest is too plentiful. Who will disciple these students coming around in droves?  Is there enough space on the ship for all these new sailors? Who will train them?

During my Sabbath time today, the Lord was quick to lovingly demote me from would-be Captain back to simple sailor. How freeing it was to be reminded that all He asks of me is to man my post and trust His expertise.

The Calm Captain

Oh, little would-be captain,
You think you steer the ship,
But I alone am at the helm,
I direct and set the clip.

The storms that make you tremble
Don’t even interrupt my sleep.
All who board my vessel
My own right hand will keep.

 You need not fear, sailor,
As you man your post.
A more qualified Captain
No other ship can boast. 

The decks here are expansive,
There’s always room for more.
My scope exceeds your limits,
I am Captain, Vessel, Door.

You need not fret regarding
Who and where and when.
Before the water even was,
The Captain I have been.

Hold your rope, little one;
Try to enjoy the view.
I will be the Captain,
You can just be you.