Summer days have a way of going sideways around here. Well thought-out plans get hijacked by unexpected moods, as sunshine outside does not always correlate to soul-shine inside.
This morning, our day started off on a terribly wrong foot. Two out of three children woke up excited for a play date with a friend. I had planned a sweet morning adventure with the remaining son. Feeling left out, he chose to simmer in his sadness. He refused every fun adventure plan. He would not let us love him or comfort him. In his hurt feelings, he was hurting everyone else’s feelings, mine included.
After dropping the big boys off, I pulled the car over and parked alongside a random road, refusing to let the day spiral any further. I asked Phin to join me in the front seat of the car. While he was crying out, “I only want daddy!”, I held him and let him sob. Even though I was personally hurt by his words and actions, the Spirit enabled me to console and settle him.
In that moment, tears filled my eyes, as I was given a glimpse into the love of the Trinity. His words demanding his father should have hurt me, but they did not. My husband and I fight to be one team and to operate off of a united front. He did not have access to his father who was at work, but he had full access to me. So, in the name of his dad and acting as I know his dad would act, I comforted him and loved him in his pain.
After a few minutes of snuggles, we wiped off some tears and started our morning afresh. The same plans he had been refusing all morning he now humbly and excitedly accepted. As we drove to Glider Port, a scenic overview where you can watch hang gliders over the Pacific Ocean, the car was silent from emotional exhaustion, though it was only 10:30 am.
In those moments of silence, I realized I had been given a great gift in the form of a grumpy, sideways summer day.
How many times have I chosen to fret and fume over hurt feelings, building walls of defensiveness when what I need most is a strong, secure reminder of love?
How many times have I taken out my own feelings of frustration and shame on other people, attempting to drag others down with me into the pit of despair?
How many times have I crossed my arms, refusing good gifts my Heavenly Father is offering me in love and from a desire to simply be with me?
His response to me in those moments is the strong embrace of Trinitarian love. His offer is a Savior who weeps with me, even when I am exacerbating the pain I am experiencing. He gifts me the indwelling Spirit who comforts me in the absence of the Father as a powerful extension of His love. He offers me sweet time spent in restoration and renewal with the Father, a time and space just for us to reconnect.
If your summer day is going sideways, I pray you would be settled in the strong embrace of t he Triune God.